Wise or Foolish?

I think today I will try something a bit different. I have so many blog post ideas in my head that I just can't execute them all at this point. But, I was struck yesterday in my quiet time by a verse in Proverbs and as I was meditating and thinking through it, the idea hit me to use my blog today in a little bit different manner.

The scripture in Proverbs came from chapter 14, verse 1: "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."

This verse seems rather general to me...it seems wide open. So I'm going to ask for input from my readers. What can a wise woman do...what types of things must we do to build our house. And what can a foolish woman do...what types of things can we do with our own hands to tear it down?

I don't know about you, but I long desperately to be a wise woman...a wise wife...a wise mother. I've been called many things in my life, but the one thing I do not want to ever be called is foolish. So, help me...help each other and let's come up with some wise things to help build our houses stronger...and some foolish things that we can be aware of to avoid so that our houses are not torn down.

I can't wait to hear from you! Blessings today!

Another Moment

I had another moment last night...I've written about these moments a couple of times on my blog. I'm finding that when I stop and truly enjoy what God has given to me I am led to worship and thankfulness for His goodness and amazing blessings in my life. Last night was such a moment. It was one of those times when I could have just moved right on with the busyness of my evening, but for once I stayed my mind and didn't allow it to wander while I focused on the beauty of the moment.

Some of you may think this is ridiculous...and quite insignificant. But, nevertheless, I write on. It was one of those rare evenings when the house was clean and dinner was on (in time, I might add). Levi was eating in his high chair and Culley was playing in the living room. I looked out of our bay window and was overwhelmed with a familiar feeling. Outside it was cold...rainy...chill-to-the-bone windy. But for a moment my home was warm, calm, and relaxed as it "should" be. I thought to myself, "if Brian walks through the door and feels at home, I've done my job well today."

It was then that it hit me...I want Brian (and my children) to feel the same way I felt when I walked through the door of my home growing up. I remember the cold winter nights after basketball practice. Often I would get home after 7:30 and it would be dark and cold. I would run from my car to the door...and it never failed...when I opened the door I was welcomed home to a warm, calm, and relaxed place that I loved to be. Problems didn't disappear, but they weren't quite as big inside those walls. Chaos existed, but my home was usually a beautiful place to be where I could ask questions, be nurtured, instructed and simply find rest from the world.

So, what is the moment? That reminder led me to worship a God who blessed me with parents like that. I know not every teenager or child has a place they can call "home." I know not every wife or husband has a place to call "home." But I am so incredibly blessed to have that memory and as much as is in my power I will give Brian, Culley and Levi that same memory...a place where they feel safe, and loved, and always at home. I can't promise there won't be chaos...but all Kansans know there is a calm in the middle of the storm...as long as God is our anchor.

Look for those moments God has just for you and let them lead you to worship!

Wednesday through Friday

As I was laying in bed last night I thought, "really? Where did the week go?" I started going back through my week and realized that it was busier than I had anticipated. The past couple of weeks have thrown me a bit off schedule as I've been working on things a little out of the ordinary. This fall, I've had the opportunity to do some writing for the media guide. The three pieces I was working on were due last week, so much of nap time and my evenings were used to email back and forth and edit and change the pieces. They were finally finished last week and then I started this week typing some things for Brian. Those were finished on Wednesday. So, Wednesday afternoon I started in on a project that should have been finished weeks ago! I was using all of my down time finishing the articles that I didn't have time to get the kids' t-shirts finished for the season.

I was excited to try something new on my sewing machine this year. I've always worked on simple sewing projects, and I've tried my best to stay away from anything that would require my own creativity. This time, I branched out...a little...and for those of you who are naturally crafty, this might seem insignificant, but it was a pretty big deal for me!

They each are somewhat different...




I spent all evening on Thursday and most of Friday morning working on these...and I'm pretty proud of how they turned out...except for one small problem. Levi might end up with a tie-dye shirt if I can't get the dye out of the front of his! :) Other than the not-so-perfect shape of the football, I like how Levi's turned out! When I told Culley that her shirt said "Tiger Football" she growled like a TRUE tiger!


I tried a different stitching on each of their names. Levi's "Fish" didn't turn out the way I wanted, and looks a bit like a novice seamstress attempted to be fancy...wait, that's exactly what happened! :)

Other than going to practice Wednesday and Thursday...and a high school football game Friday night, we spent most of our time at home this week. But, as I was packing my bag for this morning and setting everything out on the ironing board, I realized how ridiculous it really is...between coloring books, story books, snacks, Levi's food, bottles, diapers, extra clothes, water, and other things.
I mean...this picture isn't even everything I end up taking with me to the games! We have pom poms and jammies for the ride home...and the cold weather isn't even here yet!!!! :) Good grief...I'm tired just thinking about it!

Go Tigers!!!!!

Tuesdays

Well, here we are again. I guess today you could say plan B won out. My Tuesdays are supposed to go a certain way...similar to Mondays, I have a plan. But today, it just wasn't meant to be. Ideally, I would wake up before Brian goes to work and run. He usually leaves between 6 and 6:30 so you can see my dilemma. Most Tuesdays I make it...not this one. I should have known from the first moment my alarm went off and I didn't get out of bed that this was going to be one of those days.

As indicated, I didn't get up and run, but I did get up around 5:45, put in some more laundry (because Tuesday is finish what you didn't get finished day). I read and sipped my lovely Estima coffee until 7:00 when Levi woke up. Culley was up at 7:30, so I thought I could squeeze in a run before Levi's morning nap. I packed breakfast for Cj, loaded the kiddos up, and had a SLOW run on a beautiful morning. I thoroughly enjoyed it and by the time we got home, Levi was ready for a nap, Culley was ready for Sesame Street, and I was ready for a shower.

Doesn't sound like too bad of a day, huh? Well...at some point in all of this, Culley pooped her pants, then went pee pee a few minutes later. Around 10:30 Levi woke up and for 30 blissful minutes we had two happy kids...then it happened. I'm not sure what happened...but I'm pretty sure from 11:00 to 11:30 Culley and Levi were fussing or crying...with it all hitting a climax at 11:30. I truly thought about breaking down myself. I mean, there was no consoling them. I almost let the flood gates down and then I realized the windows and back door were WIDE open and I'm sure my neighbors were having a fabulous time enjoying their retirement loving the fact that the young, new family chose to move in right between them. I actually began to laugh...I mean, why cry when it really is this ridiculous and out of my control?

I finally let them both cry while I got lunch around...lunch is always a great way to stop the crying...for a while. Let's see...not one thing finished on my list except clean laundry sitting on my table waiting to be folded and I was too frazzled to attempt that during lunch...so we all ate and shuffled up to bed. Today I decided that a 20 minute nap wouldn't be too bad, so we were able to dodge the crying before nap time since I told Culley I would take a nap in her bed. Unfortunately, I kept thinking about everything I still needed to do, so I layed next to Culley for about 30 minutes...and when I tried to leave Culley's room, she was WIDE AWAKE. For another 30 minutes of more I tried to get her to go back to sleep. But there was absolutely no way the little girl was going to nod off again. Needless to say, I made her lay in her bed until nap time was over.

During this quick break, I folded laundry and typed up Brian's class syllabus for him. At least a few things were scratched off my list because once Levi woke up, it was time to go grocery shopping for a few things we needed.

The BEST part of Tuesdays is that we get to go to the football office and have dinner with the football staff. Because Tuesdays are another late night, the wives all bring something and for a few minutes we get to see everyone. Not only is it nice to see Brian, but it's also nice to see the other families and fellowship with them during the week.

However, we still had bed time to get through, so as enjoyable as a few moments of my evening have been, bed time brought many more tears...from both of my children. I honestly don't think I've heard so much crying in one day...and I only have two! But, alas, they are finally both asleep and I can enjoy a bit of quiet until tomorrow.

Mondays

Saturday marked a new season. Actually, it marked many new seasons for us. Brian's first season as a head football coach, my first season as a head football coach's wife, and a new season of chaos at football games (just in case you're wondering...two kids 18 months apart can be nothing but complete chaos at games). I didn't get any pictures of the kids on Saturday...partly because their shirts aren't finished...and partly because Levi was on his second outfit by game time. But, I did get a picture of my husband in his debut...I personally think he looks rather handsome!


In this new chapter of our lives, I thought that maybe I would try to give my readers some idea of what life is like here in Bourbonnais for the Fish family. I will not promise to post every single day, but I do intend to give you a rundown of our weekly schedule as often as I can.

Because Saturdays often throw my kids into a whirlwind of sugar highs and sleep deprivation...and Sundays provide mornings visiting new churches and meeting new people, I have dubbed Mondays our stay-at-home-at-all-costs days. It is the only day of the week that the kids can detox from sugar, catch up on sleep, and be reminded that obeying is STILL part of our daily routine. It is a much-needed day for both of the kids and it allows me to work like mad to get the laundry done and house cleaned so the rest of the week we can be free to be spontaneous. Here's how today went:

7:00a.m.--Levi was up and HUNGRY!
8:00--Levi was ready for his morning nap a little early. I put him down, threw in the laundry, cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed the main floor, and started in on the kitchen.
8:45--Chatted with Kim.
9:20ish--Culley was finally awake (this is not normal).
9:30--breakfast for Culley and I finished the kitchen...sweeping, sanitizing, dishes, etc.
10:00--I think I finished the bathrooms, Levi was awake, and I vacuumed the upstairs.
10:30--played with the kids and folded laundry.
11:00--packed a lunch for all of us and at 11:30 loaded up the stroller and headed to campus where we had lunch with Brian around noon.
12:30--headed home for naps.
1:00--naps...although a certain little girl took a while to fall asleep.
1:45--mow the lawn.
2:30--work on typing paperwork for Brian.
3:15--Culley and Levi wake up and we usually have a little bit of snuggle time.
4:15--Chat with my mom.
4:30--Make baby food for Levi
5:15--Dinner...we eat a little earlier when Brian isn't home for dinner. Levi usually eats at 5:30 anyway, so Cj and I join him.
5:30--fold more laundry while waiting for Cj to finish eating.
6:00-6:45 is playtime/book time, etc.
7:00--baths
7:30--Levi to bed while Culley reads books in the "brown chair"
8:00--Tonight Culley got to stay up later and eat popcorn while we watched a little bit of HGTV.
8:45--Cj to bed...clothes away or finish laundry.
9:30ish--Jodi to bed.

So...there you have it. My Monday's aren't always on the hour perfect timing, but that's usually what they look like. With only a few things left on my list...I think I'll let them go unfinished until tomorrow. It's a good day to get as much done as I can while at the same time giving the kids a little bit of home time and a day back within a routine. Brian works late on Monday's and if I can get it all done on Mondays, it allows my time to be free later in the week when his time is a bit more free. I do love living close to the campus because it allows us to eat lunch with Brian on Mondays whereas if we lived further away it would be more difficult. I probably won't bore you with that many details on the following days...because I don't push to get things done as much.

I think I'll head off to bed...

One Final Summer Post

Today is the one final summer post before we move on to football season. I already have a bazillion football posts written in my head, but I really want to finish filling everyone in on our summer transition.

Summer has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. There were times I was so incredibly homesick for relationships that had depth and meaning. I know it's tough to believe, but in a few instances I was actually the one to bring conversations to a screaming halt by mentioning Christ and living evangelism. Those moments made me long for what I've had in the past. But honestly, through it all...I have never wanted to actually go back. One thing that God has taught me through my life experiences is that no matter how tough it seems now...He has a purpose that is even more beautiful than what I'm longing for. I think of the Israelites as they journeyed out of Egypt and were eye witnesses to the miraculous works of God ON THEIR BEHALF...for His glory. It wasn't long before they forgot...and they were longing to go back. I often pray that God will keep me from this mindless, thoughtless, trustless way of thinking. I know that what He has for us here is far better than we can imagine...if we just let Him work it all out for our good and His glory.

There have been other times that I've felt right where I belong. Those moments usually had something to do with the joy and laughter my kids and husband showed. These are a few of those moments:

Culley was finally old enough to attend story hour at the library. Once a week we would head over to one of the three available libraries and for 30 minutes she would listen to stories, sing songs (her favorite), and then she would watch me make her craft...yes...that is the only part that I was not thrilled about!
These are two of my favorites. The crown lasted quite a while...the jester hat...not so much.

We have really enjoyed being closer to Brian's family. We have enjoyed time with them at our house, at their houses, and at the lake.

A highlight of my summer was driving up to Lake Michigan and meeting his family there for the day. Culley had a blast! Her cousins looked after her and made her feel like one of the gang! It was one of the more relaxing days of the year.

We also headed up to Chicago with Brian's sister and her family. Not sure why, but I love public transportation since living in Istanbul, so this day was a blessing to me as we took the train in to the city and the bus to the zoo. On the way back, I sat by a lovely elderly lady who talked and talked...and adored Culley. I wish I would have had more time to chat with her.

Culley and Levi have really been growing to love each other.

Levi's face lights up when Cj walks into the room...and well, as you can see he already knows how to make her squeal! Culley is starting to play with him and when he cries, she is very intent on making him happy. Her first attempt is usually the same thing I try...the paci.


Even though these are older pictures, they are some of my favorites.

Not only have I been to the doctor for Levi in the last 10 months, but Brian's back went out, among other injuries from growing old. Culley has also had some medical issues. Nothing that is too serious, but I truly feel like I am the medical/hospital mom. I realized yesterday that there are two lessons to be learned waiting for tests and doctors...patience and trust in God's sovereignty. I guess those are two characteristics that God thinks I need some work in. Anyway...one particular test was an ultrasound for Culley. They were checking her kidneys for various reasons. She was not thrilled, to say the least. This one was tough for me. All she wanted was to wrap her arms and legs around me and hold on for dear life. So, of course I thought that deserved an ice cream cone.
If Culley only liked ice cream before moving...now she loves it! We've had a few pity parties around the ice cream cone these last few months...but her smile is very worth it.

That's about it...not terribly exciting, but that's our summer. Now we head into the real job...the real reason we came. I can't wait for the next part of the journey. It promises to be an adventure...it probably will feel a little bit like wandering in the wilderness for a while...but it will be a ride that God promises to go before us on...and I smile at what He will lead us to.

Blessings!

Adoption

I think today I will take a break in the family updates and fill my blog readers in on a few musings that have been rumbling around in my mind. If you've followed Levi's story at all, you know that I shared about a young teen I met at the hospital who was waiting to be placed in foster care with her 7 month old baby. My brief encounter with her broke my heart. She isn't alone.

I remember sitting in the NICU holding Levi and sitting beside him for what seemed like hours at a time. When the tide of activity and flow of doctors, residents, and nurses would subside, I would often sit back holding my three pound baby and observe. In Levi's cul-de-sac there was room for about eight to ten babies. Some were in and out, and a few were there when we got there and remained there when we left. Of the babies in Levi's section, there were only a few moms who came to visit every day, and only two others who came everyday for a solid chunk of time. I know every family's situation is different and many moms and dads have jobs that do not allow them to sit for hours at a time beside their baby's bed. But I also know that there are babies sitting in the hospital waiting for a home to call their own. One nurse in Levi's area told me that her son was a NICU baby...she ended up adopting him and taking him home...and she shared that for many NICU babies, they do not leave the hustle and bustle of the NICU and go to a permanent home.

If these stories don't tug at your heart, I'm not sure what will. Brian and I have talked at length in the last few months about families who adopt, or families who choose to be foster parents. Brian and I are convinced that God's design...God's basic unit for evangelism is the family.

In Psalm 145, the writer says, "Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever...One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness. They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness." My generation...me...I will commend God's works to the next generation...my children. His deeds, his works, his greatness, and abundant goodness are to be on our lips to make God known to our children. Then, in Deuteronomy 6, God commands the people of Israel to "teach them [words of God] diligently to your children, and talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." See, we don't have to go far to make the gospel known. Our own home is the first place God is declared to our children.

Brian and I began discussing this in the context of adoption. What better way to take a lost soul ad proclaim the gospel than to bring a lost soul into the arms of a loving family who makes Jesus the Lord of their life? A soul that may otherwise never hear the Good News.

Now, I know that not everyone is called to adopt. Not everyone can, not everyone wants to, and not everyone needs to. So this is where this whole conversation has led me...what am I doing with my own children? If I truly believe this is true in adoption, then why would it not be true in my own biological children? My children are lost souls. They are sinners, and in all honesty their eternal state is heading toward separation from God. So what am I doing about that? Am I just making sure they are in church on Sundays? Do I talk like a Christian, but not act like one? Do I expect them to just "get it" on their own? Oh friends, this hit me hard! I'm not saying I need to bombard them day in and day out with guilty manipulation...I am saying that my parenting needs to guide them to the infinite beauty of Christ. Do they understand that their behavior isn't just breaking a rule, but it's sin? Do I make it clear in discipline that I'm not just disciplining because they didn't do what mommy said but I'm truly teaching them obedience to a holy and just God? Do I shower them with love and forgiveness? And do I...yes, do I live a life that makes Christ infinitely beautiful...worth sacrificing the best this world has to offer for the best Christ will give? Yikes...if this doesn't change my purpose in parenting, I'm not sure what will.

There are times I wonder what in the world I'm doing...and this truth has given me a renewed vision and purpose in mommyhood. It's nice when Culley (and hopefully someday Levi) says thank you and uses manners...and embarrassing when she doesn't...but at the end of the day, or rather at the end of my life I need to ask what it is that I've guided them to in Jesus. Have I lived, taught, and reflected the gospel message? It's theirs to accept or reject, but my job remains the same regardless of my children's responses.

Adopted or biological...the family is evangelistic in nature. So for you moms out there...keep at it...and may Christ, who is infinitely greater than anything this life has to offer, be glorified in your mommyhood and your children.

Blessings!

Ledi

And no, the title of this post is NOT a typo. It's a mystery how some nicknames come into a regular vocabulary. Take Juki, for example. I was not born with this nickname, nor did I have younger siblings who could not pronounce my very simple name. No...Juki came from my oldest brother, who happens to be 10 years older than me. I do not remember being called Juki as a child. No...Juki developed sometime between my high school and college years and I have absolutely no idea why. Ledi is what Culley has always called her "bubby." No amount of pronunciation and enunciation drills can get her to correctly say the "v" sound in his name, so Brian and I have adopted the old saying..."if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." And so...the songs written and sung in his honor are sung about Ledi...he may never ever know how to pronounce his real name until he's much, much older.
For those of you who have followed Levi's progress...here's a bit of an update. We had his 6 month appointment a month late due to a change of pediatrician (I think we've finally found a good one). We saw Doctor Kim when he was 7 months old. He weighed in at a whopping 13 pounds! He is barely on the charts as a 7 month old...but at least he's on the charts. A bit of interesting news as well...remember when we had our ultra-sound with the specialist when I was around 26 weeks pregnant? Remember that one of the concerns about him was that his femur bone was measuring short and they were concerned that this could be a sign of Down's or maybe that he would just be short. Well...he's NOT going to be short. The kid has monster feet and he's actually close to normal on the height chart for a 7 month old as well. I'm definitely not looking forward to having two men in my house with size 14 feet...so the short boy would have been ok with me! :)
Here's a few pics so you can see how the little man is doing.

He can't wait to go fishing with his uncles at the farm! The funny thing about this kid is that he could barely fit into 0-3 month clothes until he was 6 months old...but those hats NEVER fit him! Big head...and big feet! :)

Just hangin' out with the family at the coffee shop.


The little guy might actually crawl before he sits up. I think I've got another mover...he doesn't want to sit still long enough to actually learn to sit!

And so...that's Ledi in a "nutshell"...did I mention he's either laughing or crying? Did I mention that he holds his breath when he's mad? Did I mention that this little guy likes to do things his own way, in his own timing? I've got my work cut out for me!

Summertime

Here we are in the middle of July and as a football coach's wife the summer is about to end. By August 1, the staff will be in full speed getting ready for the players to arrive on the 9th. Once the players are here we begin the season. This isn't all bad...other than summertime, the season is by far my favorite part of Brian's job. He has a schedule; we know when we can spend time with him and we can plan accordingly. The rest of the year just isn't predictable, so it's a bit harder for me. With August quickly approaching, and I'm sure there will be many blog posts about the season and adjustments as a head coach's wife I thought I would give you a few posts about our summer.

We've had a blast! I can't say the adjustment to Illinois has been smooth sailing. We've had our bumps, I've had my cries, and we've had our moments of "what in the world were we thinking?" However, we've really had a good time as a family and I believe that even though we are in the thick of adjustment and finding our way that we have grown even closer as a family and the beliefs and convictions we gained while in Sterling and attending GBC have only been strengthened. So...how about a few pictures to illustrate what a fun time we've had?

The beginning of June we arrived home from Kansas and the next day we had some visitors! Andy, Betsy, and their family came to stay. Culley couldn't have been more excited or more thrilled to finally be reunited with her beloved Ya-ee-ya (Sylvia). I get a bit teary-eyed even now as I think of the kindred spirits those two have together. Everyone of those girls loved on Culley and she was extremely sad to see them go. On our tour of campus, Lydia ran all over the place with Culley who is constantly telling me to "come on! Run!" So it was nice for her to actually have someone run with her! We were sad to see them pull away, and in her prayers even now, Culley often thanks God for Ya-ee-ya and Neenah (Hannah and Anna).

The return to Illinois brought the news that our air-conditioner had quit...so for the extremely hot days we spent much of the day outside in the little pool rather than inside the hot, stuffy, and unbearable house. Notice the car? Garage sale number one this summer! :)

One of the things that Brian and I love about living here is we can take the Metra into downtown Chicago. It's about a 30 minute drive to the station and it will take us right down to Millennium Park. This is Culley's first choo-choo nain (train) ride. Oh my goodness...I thoroughly enjoyed watching her experience this adventure. We rode into Chicago and walked the 2.5 (give or take) miles to the Lincoln Park Zoo. She was lovin' it! She didn't even fall asleep on the train ride home. She kept telling everyone that she saw some elephants...there are no elephants at the Lincoln Park Zoo...so we may have to work on that! One of the traits that I love about my daughter is that people seem drawn to her. On the train, walking down Michigan Avenue, or at the zoo people were drawn to her and talked with her and commented on how friendly she was. Oh how I pray this character trait she will use to glorify God!

It's June...late June...hot...very hot.
Culley loves hats...what can I say? I've had to hide her stocking hats so she doesn't sweat to death this summer!

After a walk with Daddy at the coffee shop.
Going to the park. We live a little less than a mile from a great park. We often walk there and Culley plays while Levi takes a nap in the stroller. What a blessing to be able to get out. On our way to the park, there are some small animals that we can stop to see as well. We are hoping that the next time we get to the farm Culley won't be so terrified of the animals there!

And finally...my big helper! We've done some baking and making meals for others quite a bit this summer. She loves to help in the kitchen and this particular time we were making brownies for some people...the only way I could keep her from sticking her fingers in the batter with my back turned was to let her have the leftovers! I know, I know, I know...but I remember my mom letting me lick the bowl clean and those are some GREAT memories. I absolutely love that she want to help me...I only hope that when she's actually old enough to help she still wants to!

So...that's a snapshot of our summer. There is so much more to come! Oh...and if any of you are interested in a trip to the big city...I know a great place that is cozy, has a soft bed, and the best part is it would be FREE! Let me know if you're interested! :)

Blessings!

July 4, 2011

It's been a hard one, friends. For the past five or six July 4ths I've been in Sterling, KS. You really can't beat small town celebrations...you can't...it's not possible. There is a fullness and anticipation that cannot be replicated by large, impersonal crowds. Whether it was the turtle races or the people races, there has always been something for me to look forward to and usually at least pieces of my family would be together.

The first memory I have of the Sterling celebration began when I lived in Istanbul, Turkey. Strange, huh? Betsy and Roxie wanted to run the 15K from Lyons to Sterling (I think it was originally Betsy's idea). Regardless, I was finishing up my first year overseas and the thought of 9 miles of uninterrupted conversation with my sisters-in-law was very appealing. So...I began training. For those of you not familiar with Istanbul...there really isn't a great place to train for longer distances. It was up and down extremely steep hills that were daunting for me walking, let alone running. Not to mention, runners aren't really common...so running down the main sidewalk along the Bosphorus was like...well, it reminded me of how I imagine animals in the zoo feel when people just stand and stare at them, waiting for them to do something interesting. All the while smiling and talking to the person beside them about where the animal is from, what its habitat is like, or whether it feels lonely or whether it even knows it is alone. I didn't do that very often. So where did I train for this 15K? Around and around and around and around and around and around...the track at the sports club. But I didn't mind because the anticipation of spending the fourth with my family and running the race with great friends was worth every bit of every lap completed.

I must admit, that the second fourth was full of anticipation as well. I came home from Istanbul without a job, living on faith that God would provide in some way. Even in all the uncertainty, as I flew in just in time for the fourth activities, the anticipation was more about meeting a certain assistant football coach that my family could not stop talking about. I think that might have been the one and only year a Lambert had a turtle in the races as well. Year three brought my first fourth as a married woman and hosting the get-together for my family.

Year four was right after our trip to China and I hadn't trained for the 5K, but Dad wanted me to run with him, so I did...and just about died in the process. The BEST part and probably one of my most favorite memories was that Chuck had been secretly training to run. The day Brian and I got back from China we were quite jet-lagged so we walked to Paddy's for breakfast fairly early in the morning. As we were sitting there sipping our coffee I noticed a man run by...and incredibly shocked...realized it was Chuck. WHAT WAS HE DOING??? When we confronted Chuck he tried to deny it...but he couldn't pull that one over on us...so we were in on the secret and it was priceless...absolutely priceless to see the looks on my other brothers' faces. Priceless.

Year five was my first fourth with a baby...and I believe I even played in a three on three basketball tournament. Year six was a 5K pushing both my kiddos...one in the stroller and the other in my tummy.

Year seven...well, this is it. There is no year seven and I am very sad. I miss it and I miss the jokes, the fun, the living life together. I'm sure it will come here. We will find new traditions and new celebrations...but today I am enjoying the memories of yesterfourths. I am an American...believe me...but the Fourth of July has always just been a celebration of freedom...but a celebration of family as well. I guess for now my anticipation will be for the years to come...what will our new fourths look like? I wait to eagerly experience what God has for us.

Happy Fourth of July!

Vacation 2011

With the craziness of the past six or so months we decided that our only vacation this year would be a trip to the farm. We decided this year to take our time early in the summer rather than later. So...I spent all last week getting our laundry done and the house clean. Thursday, my dear friends Jessica and Rachel kept Culley and Levi while I packed our suitcases. Friday and Saturday we were in Indiana and yesterday we started our trek to the farm. We really had no idea what to expect...with Culley potty trained and Levi, well somewhat fussy, we weren't sure what to expect.


We left around 5:45am. The first half of the trip was awesome. We made it to breakfast then our next stop wasn't until lunchtime. I had packed a lunch and we had planned to find a park to eat and let our active two-year old play and run off some energy. But, alas, we had to settle for a parking lot instead.
The beautiful lesson for me was to realize that Cj didn't care whether it was a park or a parking lot...she was content to run and play with her daddy. It's not the what but the who for her and I love that about her at this age and can only pray that she stays this content with simple things.

The next leg of the trip wasn't quite as smooth...but still full of memories. We did make it through a short nap time and stopped to feed Levi. Now...up until this point Cj made it completely dry. We started down the road and not five minutes later were stopped on the side of a Kansas highway teaching Cj how to potty in nature.
We stopped an hour later to feed Levi and finally found a park for Culley to play in. She had a blast and I have to admit it was a pretty cool park.
We loaded up for what we hoped would be the last time...not to be...as an hour later Culley had to pee pee...which she had been telling us for thirty miles but we didn't believe her. Lesson 476 of potty training...always believe them even when you don't...you can't take chances! This would be her only accident of the very, very, very long trip. With just over an hour left, we did load up for the final lap of our journey...we finally let the wee one cry for the last thirty minutes of the ride. As we neared the farm Brian laughed as our over tired children's personalities poured out. Culley gets goofy and Levi gets grumpy. Brian predicts that when they get older this might not be a great combo. He says, "Grumpy Pants might not enjoy the Silly Goose and there might be some conflict."

Although there were some stressful times and Brian and I didn't get the rest we wanted during our non driving turns...I thoroughly loved this trip. Memories were made and my kiddos are beginning to learn the anticipation of going to the "farm." We even made it without pulling out the DVD player! Not sure how long that will last but I hope to hold off as long as possible...I long to make car trips to Mama and Papa Lambert's as enjoyable as possible and not just something we must endure. Because these memories will always last...

Pressing On

Don't hyperventilate...I know...two posts in one week. Miracles do happen...and Jodi does get motivated every once in a while. I've been musing...so you get to muse with me. See, I struggle with this blog sometimes. It was originally meant to be a way my family and friends could keep up on my ever changing life and a way for me to write voice my thoughts without anyone ever having to really listen. Seriously, most of you probably skim to see if there are any pictures and then when you see the obscene ratio of words to pictures, you skip right on out of The Fish Pond...I admit that I would do that if I were you (HURRY! Now's the time!)

So, you see, there are many days that I just want to write...just put my thoughts on paper (or wherever they tend to disappear to) but it seems pointless because all too often my thoughts are a complete jumbled mess of nonsense. Ever opened a box of paper clips, pulled one out and the entire clump of metal comes out because they are all hooked together...and then try to get one unhooked from the rest of the clump and...well maybe I'm the only one...but that's what my thoughts feel like sometimes. So I just give up. Well...not today. Maybe tomorrow I will be right back to that silliness, but not today. I'm going to give it a try.

I've realized this is a common pattern in my life. If it's not easy it's not happening. Truly...I have had it all too easy my entire life. Most things have come naturally to me and if they haven't I've deemed them unnecessary. Tennis for example. I love tennis...I've always wanted to play tennis and be good at tennis...but I'm terrible and I'm not willing to put the work or effort into getting any better so I have crossed it off of my list of activities. No need to feel like a failure every time I play. Creativity...craftiness...art. This is another area that does not come naturally to me. I am not creative. It hurts my head to think about crafts and let's face it, the easier route is to not even attempt anything that resembles art. No need to feel inferior to those for whom it comes naturally.

This is my way. This is my pattern...but this is also an extremely clear picture of my personality. However, there is one specific task currently at hand that I do not have the luxury of "passing up." Parenting for one. Let me tell you...I fail everyday. It's hard work and often I find myself being lazy. I'm tired, drained, and exhausted...and I only have two! There are days...moments really...when I feel like God has asked the wrong person to do this job. The idea of parenting their hearts when my own heart is so ugly is a daunting task and I can think of many other women who would do a much better job. BUT, honestly, this is one job...one task that I have never thought about giving up. It's ok if I feel like a failure because I know God's grace is sufficient and what I lack He will make up. It's okay if I go to bed exhausted for the next 20 years because I know that in the end I want more than anything to look back and say that I gave my all...and more than anything I want to say that I was obedient to the task God placed before me. Women give up so much...at least they ought to...in order to be a mom. And even though some days feel like they will NEVER end, I know that God has promised blessing in obedience.

Easter 2011

This Easter, for some reason, was super sweet. Christ's resurrection means more to me with each passing year. The other day I was going through yet another box--yes...I even have more to go through. Our move was so quick and our lives so chaotic that I'm doing it at a slow pace to keep my sanity--in that box I found two very special pictures. The very first pictures of Levi with me holding him for the very first time. I got so emotional as I was struck by God's goodness to our family...not that He took us out of chaos...not that He is making life easier...and not that He is blessing us with ease...but His goodness to be ever so close and ever so good to reveal Himself to us during these times. That is why Easter has been extra sweet. Without Christ's resurrection, we wouldn't have the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we wouldn't be able to seek and pursue a relationship with the Father, we wouldn't have a hope beyond human understanding of an eternity living in worship to our King.


This year we celebrated Easter with our new church family. This is on of our church's big outreach events.
In the past two weeks the church passed out more than 4,000 Easter eggs with candy and an invitation to church. The church provides a lunch and rather large Easter egg hunt for the families that attend. It was priceless. Not only was this Culley's first big Easter egg hunt, but it was special to observe children who had never seen anything like this before.
You can be sure that the gospel was presented clearly and Christ was glorified. These are just a few pictures...Brian and I finally pulled out the camera after months of letting it sit useless on the shelf.


Our family picture was a little difficult as the one in our family who has always done things on his own timing didn't quite like the timing of the camera. :)


Happy Easter...He is Risen!

April 4, 2011

Five months ago, today...yep...Levi is five months old. I can't believe how much he's grown. One week ago, he weighed 10 lb 5 oz. At four months Culley was 12 lbs, so I don't think he's too far behind. He's growing like a weed.
Wow...I can't believe how much has happened in the last five months. I look back on it all and wonder how in the world I made it through without a breakdown. If anyone would have told me what we were about to experience I would have sat down like a baby and cried. I think it's a blessing that we aren't told the future and we don't know what our lives will look like. Honestly, I wouldn't have chosen this path to a mother of two. But even more honestly I can say that I wouldn't trade it for the world. Looking back I can see where God has grown me up in so many ways. I remember saying when I got married I realized so much pride in my heart. I also remember saying that when I had Culley I realized so much selfishness in my heart. And I will look back on this and remember saying that I realized so much weakness in my heart...but I remember even more vividly the beautiful sufficiency of Christ and His provision for our family. In the three plus weeks we were in the hospital, we experienced the love of the family of God. We were blessed beyond measure with gifts and visits and love. We experienced the perfect timing of our Provider when we had no idea what we were going to do. And even now...when medical bills still come our way, He provides. We have been able to pay every penny on time. I know that we will continue to experience the love of His Church and the perfect timing of His provision.
When Kyle Schenk returned from China and meeting persecuted Christians there, (yes...I am about to quote Kyle...unbelievable, right?) I remember he said in Bible study that he couldn't help but wonder if our (Americans) lack of suffering was somehow a curse rather than a blessing. Now, please...do not for one moment think that I am inferring that Levi's premature birth and the suffering Christians and persecuted church are similar sufferings. What I am saying is that I think...no...I know that trials and sufferings bring us into closer communion with Christ. It is through these trials that His beauty and provision are so clearly seen. When I get comfortable...when I get "set in my way"...my eyes tend to shift to myself and to my power and to my own work. But, when I am tested and tried my eyes become fixed upon the One that I know can give me the strength to get through because His path is straight and good and right. I know that God only gives us what we can handle, and I know that what He gives us is meant to make us more like His Son. I pray that on this April 4th I am more Christ-like than I was on November 4th and every day after.

Blessings,
Jodi

The Longest Morning on Record...

I'm exhausted. Completely wiped out. Ready for a nap and looking forward to an early bedtime type of tired. Let me explain.

After confessing my cowardice I found myself completely and totally offended by my own self-proclamation. How dare I call myself a coward? Who in their right mind would call ME a coward? And so...today began Culley's training. When she woke up, we didn't even discuss diapers but instead pulled out her cute little undies with "neows" on them. To my amazement she was completely thrilled! Oh the excitement! We put one pair on...and then she continued to try to put EVERY pair on top of each other. She finally tried on three different ones before settling on the paw prints but only if I would let her carry the others with her. I figured that would make it easier to locate them after an accident, so we traipsed downstairs for the morning.

At first, she sat on the floor taking one pair off, putting another pair on, and so on for quite some time. When that became old hat, we sat in the kitchen and played with the cookie cutters that she has recently discovered. We practiced our ABC's, we danced, we made our grocery list, and so on and so on. At one point she went potty...received her treats...gobbled them down, claimed she had to go potty again and squeezed every ounce out of her body...received her treats...gobbled them down, claimed AGAIN she had to go potty, but this time came up dry.

All in all, she only had three "accidents" this morning. I will say that at this rate, I'm going to have to start a better exercise routine as every time she gets some goodies I seem to feel like I deserve them too! I honestly can't blame my tiredness on potty training...as much as I'd like to...because we actually had a fun morning. I know this is only the beginning...but I think she's off to a great start.

The only problem is I feel like my little girl is growing up too fast! Brian said if we can keep her in diapers she won't ever get married and leave. I guess he has a point there. :)

Jodi the Coward

Yes...I am a coward. I have officially dubbed myself the coward of all mothers. I've suspected this about myself for some time now, but parenting has confirmed and solidified that suspicion. If I am sure I will be unsuccessful at something, I avoid it at all costs. If I'm not quite sure how to get something finished with the least amount of inconvenience to me, I don't attempt it. Some might call this selfishness, pride, or even fear. I call it being a coward.

What has brought this particular topic to my blog? Well, I believe in my last posting I mentioned something to the effect that Culley was ready to be potty trained. But I'm sure I didn't mention that this is one of those mommyhood tasks that I have dreaded since I've dreamed of being a mommy. Oh to skip potty training and middle school! But alas, it is not possible short of Jesus' second coming. So Friday after blogging I was determined that this week was the week. I called all experts, searched high and low for little underwear small enough for Culley's little bottom, and made all the necessary arrangements to purchase the vital bribe candy and I was set and ready to go.

Monday came...we had a scheduled play date so I knew this was not to the be fateful day. As Monday night approached and Tuesday morning came I thought...maybe there was a better way...and of course I came up with a better plan that would be less painful for me. Instead of putting her in her big girl underwear I kept her in her diaper until lunch time. When she was finished with lunch I placed 10 m&m's on her tray. She literally gobbled them up and I sat there thinking this was going to work. When she was finished I got her down and told her that if she went potty on the big girl potty I would give her more (with a huge, goofy smile on my face to indicate how exciting that would be). Here's how the day went...

Nap time:
"Culley, do you want to go potty so you can have some candy?"
"No."
"Well, you can try."
On the potty she sits and sits and then tells me her pee-pees went bye-bye.

Post nap time:
"Culley, do you cant to go potty so you can have some candy?"
"No."
"Well, you need to try."
Again, she sits and then tells me her pee-pees went bye-bye.

Multiple times through the afternoon I get that huge, goofy grin on my face and try to sound as excited as possible when I offer her some candy in exchange for pee-pees in the potty. All afternoon she tells me no.

Bedtime:
"Culley, let's go brush your teeth."
Pointing to her mouth she says, "di...di" (candy)
"You can't have candy unless you go pee-pee on the potty."
With a huge grin on her face she says, "OK!"
I put her on the potty and she goes pee-pee.

Now...I believe I need to rethink this. I'm not dealing with a normal 22 month old child who works for bribes...and I'm not willing to start until I'm sure it's going to work. BUT...unfortunately I think the little lady has me figured out. Coward? Yes...I believe I may just chicken out.

Bourbonnais Update

Well, I have found a moment to sit and write. Levi is napping and Culley is sitting beside me with her "nack." I have only the time it takes her to eat her pretzels...or for me to eat them because she keeps feeding them to me. One for her...one for me...one for her...one for me.

So here we are in our new home...our new city. I wish I could say that through the adjustments and the transition I have glided perfectly along with no meltdowns or times of my sin nature winning over my new nature. But alas, I sit before this computer a sinner saved by grace and this season of my life has shown me just how incredibly tied to this world and our culture my default desires are...but with His perfectly completed promises He has shown me how infinitely great His grace is for me and I rest in that...plugging forward and begging Him to renew my mind and desires to be Christ-like...rather than Jodi-like.

On a lighter note...a few updates:

Culley is growing ridiculously fast. I really wish I could freeze her at this age. Watching her grown has been hysterical at times, rewarding at times, and quite honestly quite difficult at times. She loves her baby brother. I've actually turned around to see her holding him...and now I didn't pick him up and put him in her arms. I don't know how it happened and I'm sure I don't want to know. She loves to play with her kitchen set she receved for Christmas...loves to play in my cupboards, loves to watch Elmo, and LOVES to be outside. She is learning "obey your mommy and daddy for this pleases the Lord" and mommy is learning "love is paitent and not self-seeking." She can often be found with a hat on...any hat at all...and always a pair of shoes. Most recently she was spotted with a hat of Levi's on her head and her rain boots (much too big for her) on her feet.
She has her own style and I pray she stays that way.
She loves to help others...right now it's more due to her desire to be with people and not be left out, but I'm praying some day it will be because she sees others' needs and loves others more than herself.
She is ready to be potty trained, but we are waiting until her life has a bit more stability. She already has met new friends and we go to a play group at the grade school once a week. All in all, even with the increase in discipline, the joy of being her mother has increased even more.





Levi...or otherwise known as Ledi in our family...is growing just as fast. Even though he is four months old, his adjusted development age is two months. After completing a short survey of his development in various areas we see that he is actually right on schedule with his adjusted age. He is almost 10 pounds and I am VERY pleased to say he is sleeping through the night. He adores his older sister and I wish you could see his eyes light up when she walks into his line of vision. However, we have had a few challenges. Due to being a preemie, he has two hernias that will need to be fixed surgically. He was to have surgery on Februrary 28, but when they took a CBC, we found that he is anemic...which is common in preemies as well. So, he takes iron twice a day and a multivitamin once a day. His levels are up and as soon as they reach a certin point we will go ahead with his surgery. In spite of all of that, he is full of smiles and LOVES to play in the jungle (see picture).




That's an update in a nutshell...probably a bigger nutshell that some of you would prefer. I pray and hope that each of you chooses to live life intentionally as you bless those around you with the aroma of Christ.