Yesterday...

My daughter loves to be outside. I love to be outside. In fact yesterday we left the house before 10...went for a short run...played in the park...ate lunch in the park...and didn't get back home until 1:30. Culley was a trooper all morning long and absolutely loved the adventure. She then took a 3 1/2 hour nap from which I had to wake her for church last night.



Speaking of church. Our spring Bible conference happens to be during the passion week this year. We are incredibly blessed to have Dr. Bookman with us. He is a scholar on the life of Christ, an tremendously intelligent man, and he has an amazing ability to make it all understandable for little 'ole me. Last night he taught for two sessions. Each session I was frantically writing down notes and attempting to get every minute detail. So much was new to me. I know...I grew up in a Christian home and I've gone to church my entire life...it shouldn't be new to me. BUT there is so much to the life of Christ and so much beauty that I miss because I don't take the time to soak it in...to study the culture surrounding His life and understanding the impact that so much of what was recorded would have on the people of His day. Bookman urged us to understand the drama of the narrative...it is there that we will more fully understand Christ.

I am full of random thoughts and my mind jumps from one thing that he taught last night to another. In my attempt to slow down my mind and really try to meditate on what I learned there is a point that remains vivid and strong in my rambling mind:

Bookman emphasised that we must take rather seriously the very humanity of Christ. We cannot under appreciate His humanity. He lived on earth the very life that I live. He struggled through pain and sorrow. He was tempted and tested. He suffered. He was refined through trials. He was tempted to take His eyes off of the exact purpose of His life. He was hated and despised. He felt sadness and wept over those who rejected Him. He prayed for strength and discipline. He longed for God's presence and healing. The amazing fact is that I have access to the same power, the same Holy Spirit, the same comforter that He did. Yes, he lived a perfect life. But that does not lessen His struggles and pain on earth. Sometimes I flippantly think that because He was God it was easy for Him. I callously dismiss His humanity because His "Godness" could always take over. Friends...do we really, truly, and fully understand that His humanity was real. He truly can relate...He really is our high priest who intercedes because He knows...He understands. Bookman writes, "In His incarnation, Jesus took upon Himself genuine human nature. Thus, except at those relatively occasional times when the Holy Spirit directed Jesus to access His divine attributes, He lived out His life under the actual and real limitations intrinsic to unfallen humanity."

The passion week is the greatest week in all of history. It stands as a pivotal point in history...and it stands as a pivotal point in every human's eternity. Do we treat it flippantly? Is our heart callous because of all the Sunday school stories we've heard? Is it just another family get-together with too much food? I challenge you to read each of the gospels' telling of this week. Soak it in...and love Jesus more because of what He lived and died for...your eternal salvation for God's ultimate glory.

***If you are interested in more from Bookman, you can visit his website at: www.bookmanministries.com

A New Hobby

I've never been much of a creative person. I am such a visual learner that to imagine something in my mind and then create it is extremely difficult for me. However, due to a special gift I decided to try my hand at sewing...and I absolutely love it. Once I start a project I obsess. It's difficult to stay focused on other chores...and, alas, my daughter has, ashamedly, been put down for a nap early at least once this week. So, after much help from my mother-in-law and several hours of ripping seams, I have achieved what I never thought possible.

First we have the hem of an adorable skirt for Culley. It was at this time that I realized that when one says they sew...what they really mean is they press. There is much more work with an iron and pins than with the actual sewing machine. But I digress...


On the same skirt, it has pleats in the back...and straight in the front. This is my attempt at making one inch pleats along the back of the skirt.


This is Culley modeling her completed skirt. Woooohoooo!!! It won't fit her for a while since it's a 12 month and she's still in 3-6 month clothes...but I just thought she'd look adorable with a little red shirt...maybe some black tights...boots or little patten leather shoes. AHHHHH I love little girls!


Second is the cute shirt. It's a good thing I started with the skirt because this wasn't the easiest...but with my mother-in-law's adjusted directions I got it done. Please don't look too closely...it's not evenly hemmed and the binding isn't perfect! BUT...I just thought it was the cutest thing. The lining is the second material at the back...and the main shirt is black.


The finished product.

So...I have successfully done something I never, ever thought I could do. And I loved it. I hope Culley loves all the clothes I have planned for her! :)

Fish Christmas

We traveled to Indiana for Christmas this year. We were together with the Fish family for the 24th. This was Culley's first Christmas Eve candlelight dinner. She loved every minute with her cousins.

Grandma Fish gave Culley her very own Bible story book. It is her first. :)

Aunt Michelle, Uncle Brad, Braden, Mason, Payton, and Ashlyn gave Culley an advent calendar...I am very excited to use it next year! If you can see Payton's face...that's how Culley feels inside. :)

We are only missing Will, Jacob, and Jenna! We missed you guys!

It would also seem that the more excited her cousins were, the bigger she felt! She walked across Grandma Fish's living room floor with her new toy as she was encouraged by an audience of adoring cousins.

Thanks for a GREAT Christmas!

Christmas Pictures LONG Overdue!

These first pictures are of our first family Christmas...and Culley's first attempt at opening gifts.


We had our Christmas on Saturday, the 18th, since we would be traveling during the holidays. Since Culley sleeps until about 9:00 right now we took advantage of sleeping in as we know that there will be very few Christmas mornings we will get to sleep that late. She didn't skip a beat and had a ton of fun playing with all of her toys...ummm...well actually she had a ton of fun playing with the paper that wrapped her toys.


Regardless, it was a joy to watch her open her gifts even though she had no idea what she was doing.


Brian and I got her a little push-walker that converts to a car...since she is trying to walk we thought we'd just help her along. She loved it!


I hope she's this excited every Christmas! :)

Psalm 119:11

Pastor Rick preached on Psalm 119:11 yesterday. It is fascinating to me how God can take what we are learning and struggling through in our own lives and align them with sermons or studies that we are doing. Even though the angle that Pastor took yesterday was different than what I've been dealing with, I think that what he said enlightened my own understanding.

"I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."

Pastor's point yesterday was that we posses in our hands the very words of God. It is God's spoken word to us. However, the question is not whether I have a Bible, but do I have the Bible in me? According to this verse, it is not owning and simply reading the Bible that keeps me from sin...rather it is the storing up and treasuring that changes me and keeps me from sin. He related that implanting the word of God will help in my striving for holiness. It will prevent wrong thinking in me, it will provide counsel, instruct my prayers, lead my life, relieve temptation, help against afflictions, and grant grace.

One thought that I've been mulling over in my heart and mind is how much my own thoughts are more affected by the culture around me rather than the Word. I find myself thinking that small, sinful thoughts are fine. I let so many small "unhurtful" ideas slip in and take root in my mind. I am bombarded day in and day out with our culture and what the world says is normal. The problem here is that I am more inundated with the culture around me than the Word of God. Pastor's sermon yesterday was (probably obvious to most) an epiphany that if I am storing and treasuring, meditating and thinking upon scripture then everything the world tells me will automatically go through the filter of God's Word...and that ought to align what I believe is true and right with what God says is true and right.

I was also struck with the realization that I read the Bible with my own cultural view dictating how I understand the truth I read, when the opposite ought to be true. I must read the Bible and allow it's truths to dictate my cultural view. I am finding that many things that I perceived to be true growing up are not necessarily biblical. As a girl I soaked in what people told me was right and wrong. I created my own conclusions about stories and characters in the Bible. I listened to what others said was in the Bible rather than digging in and reading for myself. Once I got older I began to read the Bible based upon preconceived ideas that had developed throughout the years. These preconceived ideas have been blown up and shattered in many cases because the Word of God will shatter lies if we read it and pray to understand it rather than read it through the filter of our own beliefs. These two realizations have given me a new appreciation for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life as I know I cannot do it on my own.

It often seems that the growth I have experienced in the last couple of years has led me to understand more and more who I am and more and more who God is. My sin is more evident to me than ever before...but the beauty of this is that God's grace and love is more precious and beautiful than at any other time in my life. His Word is the only thing that will continue to show me His beauty and grace. It is the only thing that will change me.

Why is Change so Hard?

I asked for and Brian gave me a new study Bible for my birthday. It's interesting how the transition from my old Bible to my new one has produced in me a plethora of conflicting emotions. I don't mean conflicting emotions that teasingly mock each other, but emotions that are so fierce and strong I have to actually smile and shake my head. Here's what I mean.

There is a loyalty to my old Bible that is tied in countless knots. This loyalty is fighting to keep my old Bible and all of its memories off of the shelf. See...my loyalty stems from 10 years of amazing, winding, mountainous roads on my journey with the Lord. This Bible has been with me as I transitioned from an irresponsible college student to a full-fledged responsible teacher in charge of the literary education of over 125 students. The words in that Bible guided me through leading discipleship groups and being discipled. It counseled me through singleness and heartache. My Bible records dates and times of vitally important passages at major crossroads in my life: moving to Turkey, living in Turkey, praying for missionaries I know around the world, leaving one job without securing another, finding a new job, meeting Brian, dating Brian, discontentment in my job, reverse culture shock, planning a wedding, getting married, moving back to small town Kansas, going to China, nine months of pregnancy, giving birth, and eight months of motherhood. In those 10 years there are so many other experiences and lessons that God taught me. Some were excruciatingly hard. Others joyful and exciting. All the Bible studies and sermons that I listened to in those 10 years are somehow recorded in that book as well. The loyalty is so strong that I often feel guilty for trading it in.

On the other hand, there is an intense excitement to be able to start this new era of my life with a new version, a new Bible, and a new outlook on my life as a changed person. I'm attached to the old Bible because it holds so many memories and records God's faithfulness to me through that time in my life. But it's not that specific book that brought me life and strength during those 10 years. It's not that specific book with that specific binding that spoke life into my soul and taught me truth. No...God's word is alive. It doesn't live in a Bible that I'm attached to for all the memories. No...this new Bible will speak the same truth, will hold me with the same strong truths about God as my old one did because it's God's spoken, written words to me.

What will another 10 years bring? I am incredibly excited to see the memories and prayers and dates that I write in this new Bible. As I embark upon another era of my life...a very different one from the last 10 years...I will once again get to experience and see God's faithfulness through His word. So, every time I look longingly at my old, tattered, Bible (the book of Genesis often finds itself tucked out of order since it's totally fallen out) I remember 10 years of God's faithfulness to me...and look forward to many more years of growing in intimacy with Him.

Would You Like a Vent-a?

We just spent two weeks on the road for Christmas break. Brian's family is from South Bend, Indiana so we set out on the afternoon of the 22nd to drive part of our 15 1/2 hour trek. We spent about a week in Indiana and then headed west to my parent's farm in Kansas. We decided we would make this leg of our trip in one day. So, 16 hours later with aching backs and exhausted minds we made it safely to the country. Culley was close to perfect. Of those 31 1/2 hours she fussed for about four total. Not a bad percentage...God is good. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Brian. It seems that those hours on the road are some of the most intimate conversations we have because I have his complete attention and he has mine.

Both Brian and I tend to be city folk. Even though I grew up on the farm and he grew up in the country, there is ,deep in our hearts, a love for the city. There are many reasons for this, but one is our love for the convenience of life. Starbucks is one of the conveniences we miss. Here in our small town the local coffee shop opens at 7:30 a.m. and closes at 5:30. Too late to get a cup before work, and too early to go after. So we take advantage of every trip to the nearest town 30 miles away where the "local" Starbucks resides.

In the past year, however, we have been deeply disappointed with Starbucks. They have begun to only brew a bold blend in the mornings and claim they are not allowed to brew it after 12:00 noon. When we ordered a decaf at 8:30 p.m. on our date night they didn't have it brewed and offered us a decaf Americano instead. For those of you who know me...this is unacceptable. If I order a brewed coffee...I want a brewed coffee. Others claim that at least they have their common blend, Pike's Place, brewed all day. My response to those who think I should drink Pike's Place is this: if I wanted convenience store/McDonald's coffee I would go to a convenience store or McDonald's. I go to Starbucks for bold, good coffee.

So, on our trip to Indiana we stopped at a Starbucks for Brian to get a coffee in order to stay alert while he drove. As has been the norm they only had Pike's Place brewed. Brian settled and I refused. Highly disappointed with his luck, and increasingly perturbed with mine we left and I made a resolve to never, ever settle for less than good coffee at Starbucks. If they don't have a bold blend brewed I will walk out with nothing. I will not settle for Pike's Place and I will not buy a more expensive drink.

Our time in Indiana ended and we loaded up our car early on the morning of the 28th. Brian again needed a good cup of joe and since it was before 12:00 noon we went to the nearest Starbucks to grab our coffee. It had been a long, long, long time since I had been able to enjoy a bold brew. It was lovely. It was beautiful. It was perfectly enjoyable and for one moment...or at least a Venti moment...Starbucks was forgiven.

14 hours later we traveled through the middle of Nebraska. It was getting late and Brian needed one last jolt to get us to the farm. He spotted the Starbucks' sign from the interstate in York, Nebraska. As he pulled onto the exit ramp I let him know that I would not be getting anything...maybe a Refresh tea if they had it, but not a coffee. As he pulled into the drive-thru the mechanical voice in a very southern accent said, "Hello, my name is Ste-ella. Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get started for you this evening?" Brian looked at me, smirked as though he already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask and said, "you don't happen to have a bold brewed do you?" Ste-ella southernly answered, "well yes I do...I made it just for you. Would you like a Vent-a?" I'm not sure if the giggle escaped my lips because there was actually a bold brewed or because she had called it a vent-a...but regardless, she became our absolute most favorite Starbucks employee. Brian ordered a Vent-a bold and I ordered a Vent-a tea. Ste-ella chatted it up at the window and we truly appreciated her friendly personality. As we sped off into the night I told Brian that she just redeemed Starbucks for me. At a small Starbucks in the small, Nebraska town of York there is a Starbucks employee who deserves a really big bonus.

Unfortunately I will go back to my small Starbucks 30 miles away and be consistently disappointed with their service. But I will always smile and remember the small amount of joy we had as we drove through York, Nebraska.

"Would you like a Vent-a?"

Absolutely. :)

Culley's Pictures...

My friend, Candace, an up and coming photographer, came to my parent's farm over Thanksgiving and took some pictures of Culley. I learned a few things about Culley that day. She is definitely not a performer and we had a difficult time getting her to smile. But I think Candace caught her personality perfectly. We had a ton of fun and I think the pics turned out great! I've put some of my favorites below. Thanks Candace!