Family

A couple of weeks ago Brian's sister and niece came to visit along with his parents. We had a great weekend together. Let me tell you...they were troopers going through a football weekend at our house! There's just not much else going on other than football and naps. :) This is a picture of our niece Jenna. She sat during the entire game and I honestly think that she may surpass me in excitement. She had both cowbells at one time ringing and cheering. She kept saying, "come on!" She did a fantastic job cheering Uncle Brian and his team.



We had a great time...thanks for making the trip out to see us!!!

Moments Just for Me

I know that God exists. More than that...I know that He is a personal God and that He desires to have a relationship with me. This is something that I've been taught since I was a young child and even though it has been a teaching repeated throughout my life, it is a fact that until one experiences for themselves that which they are being taught...that lesson could be doomed to failure. Fortunately, God has allowed me to experience that He is a personal God. What grace and mercy He bestows on us each day that I can freely enter before His throne and speak to Him, plead with Him, praise Him, and confess to Him. Personal? Yes. He hears my prayers and even though He may not answer them the way I would wish...I know, I know, I know that He hears because His word tells me that He does.

Prayer is just one way that I know God is personal. In recent years there have been other ways that He has shown me His desire to have a relationship. One way that has been sweet to my soul is the many moments that he has just for me. If you have experienced these types of moments, you know what I'm talking about. I believe that God gives us special moments and experiences that are reserved just for us alone. Those moments when you are alone and only you get to see the full, resplendent rainbow in a cascading arch over a perfectly green wheat field. Or what about the moment you are driving down the road by yourself on a Kansas winter evening and as you look up at the sky your breath is stolen by the brilliant display of stars radiating a diamond-like glow from a black abyss. You realize at that moment that there is light that shines brightly in darkness. An overwhelming sense of appreciation and gratefulness overtakes you as you fight the tears that escape from your eyes.

A particular one I remember happened one morning on my way to school. It was deer season (one of my personal favorites) and everyone had been talking of a big, prize-winning buck that was wandering the area. Now...I don't love the season for the hunting but for the beauty and regal look of the deer. They are incredibly graceful animals and stunning to behold. On this particular morning I was alone. Not just alone in my car, but there seemed to be an unusual emptiness to the road. About three miles from town I gazed around me and there to my right...hidden amongst dead tree limbs and colorful prairie grass was an absolutely kingly sight. A large buck stood there demanding the kind of deference a king would require. He stood tall, regal, with a shining coat that implied the standard of health. He did not run, he did not jump, he simply stood there watching me as I passed. He was well-trained in knowing true danger and fear was not something he possessed. This may sound silly and over exaggerated but it felt like we actually made eye-contact. He saw me...and he knew I saw him. This was a moment from my God.

I find that these moments are only there if I look for them. Unfortunately, I allow life to steal my mind. I'm running here or finishing that "to do" list. As I'm finishing one task, I'm already thinking about the next one and how to most efficiently use my time. Being alone is often used as simply time to make a new "to do" list without interruption. But on those rare occasions when my mind is still and my heart is soft I find that God often has a gift, a moment just for me. Those are the sweetest moments of my day. Oh that the world would not occupy my mind but God. How much sweeter my days would be.

News

Okay...since I can't get to facebook on my school computer (and I'm still here working) I guess I'll post our great news on my blog. After 30 years of living, 1 1/2 years of marriage, and a ton of anticipation, Brian and I are expecting our first baby in May. We are so grateful for God's blessing in our lives. Please pray with us that the baby and I will be safe throughout the pregnancy an even now we long for God to give us wisdom as we strive to bring up a child in this world.

Thank you for all the encouragement that you've already sent to us. We are grateful to friends and family for your support!

Blessings to each of you.

That "one" kid

You know who I'm talking about. Even if you aren't a teacher, you know the "one" kid in class. The one who wakes up every other morning and consciously decides he will try to annoy the teacher. The one who needs all the attention 17 other kids can give him, no matter if it's positive or negative. The one who has the maturity level of about five grades lower than where he actually is. That's the kid I'm talking about.

As teachers we aren't supposed to label our students. Every kid should get treated equally and every student should have the unconditional love of their educational mentors. Every teacher must try to educate her students based upon their own individual abilities and educational skills. Supposed to...should...must try. In a perfect world where I am not human and tainted by my sinful nature this would be true.

While I taught high school for seven years this seemed to be less of a problem. It appeared to me that by the time they reached high school the kids had evened out in their maturity levels and honestly they had figured out the system of dos and don'ts. Middle school seems to be an entirely different culture, world, universe. I have found myself struggling with my emotions more often and I've found myself much more frustrated than previous years. I just don't get the kid who farts on another kid's book and then walks out telling all of his buddies what a grand feat he accomplished while the teacher wasn't looking.

As for the "one" kid...well this year there are many "one" kids. Many. Through all the immaturities and frustrating attempts to keep my patience, I am learning. No matter how irritating they are, kids still need to see smiles from adults. In a district where these kiddos could go home to anything...and many go home to worse...they need to see a smile just for them. I'm learning that there is only so much a teacher can control. Sometimes I might just have to let go of my failures and realize that a couple of bad lessons won't kill their intellectual stimulation. And finally, I'm learning again...for the five thousandth time...that I am human and all I can do is grow and learn along with my students.

I'm thankful for these past two years in middle school. They've been tough...don't get me wrong...but God has shown me so much about myself...and I guess maybe it's helped to put God more correctly in His place as Adonai. Maybe I can be thankful for that "one" kid after all.

Football

As many of you know, football season is well under way. With two games down and eight to go we've had some rough spots in the season already. Nevertheless...I love this time of year. I love the excitement and the competition. I love the candy and the atmosphere we are privileged to be a part of every Saturday. I love the popcorn. I love the cow bells ringing and the crowd yelling. I love football.

Football has been a part of my life since I can remember. When I was 2 Andy would have started playing Jr. High football...and with the exception of two years in Turkey I have been a part of every fall season of football. People always ask if I get sick of it, and I answer, "how can I get sick of something that has become a part of who I am?" It must be in my blood.

Since getting married I've made an attempt to photograph some of the games. I am a very amateur photographer who has read a couple of blogs, one book, and asked a ton of questions. I'm not that good...I am learning...and I love it. My favorite pics are of my niece and nephew who are on the sidelines every game. When the offense or defense comes off of the field, he goes right to their huddle and hands each of them a towel to wipe their sweaty faces. Emma usually is giving them water and both make sure that the boys are taken care of. The amazing part is I just can't seem to capture the awe and respect in Caleb's face as he watches these huge boys play a sport that he loves. Last Saturday I got a few snapshots of him. They are both pictures taken while his dad's defense is on the field. He is a coach and player in the making.

All of this to say...I'm having more fun this year because I know a tiny bit more about photography than I did last season and it gives me something to do during the game so I don't chew my fingernails off!

Words

I absolutely love words. Don't get me wrong...I am not a person with a high vocabulary. As soon as I look a word up I forget its meaning and if asked what a words means I can only give a guess within context clues. BUT...I love words. I think that people who write creatively are the ones who can take a word that no one uses and make it sound academic and understandable at the same time.

My favorite place to find these types of luscious uses are in "The Economist." Okay...it sounds absolutely boring. In fact when I first heard about this great magazine from my friend, Mara, I turned up my nose as well. She, of course, told me to just read it before I judged it by its name...and I was hooked. My experience with "The Economist" was limited to my two years living in Turkey and airports...until recently. I just subscribed to the economist this fall and upon reading one of my first issues I fell in love all over again! Regardless of your first impression...the magazine is not simply about the economy...I'm not that smart. It's actually a magazine not unlike TIME or Newsweek...ONLY IT'S BETTER WRITING!

For example, in an article this week about the American presidential race the author said that the American "economy is in the doldrums." DOLDRUMS? Who uses that word anymore??? Not to mention it was perfectly placed in the midst of a political article. Seriously, the author also said that Obama had "unsavoury friends." UNSAVOURY? I've never heard it phrased like that...but it works! Oh...and one of my all-issue favorites...he refered to McCain's campaign having "populist piffle." PIFFLE??? Again...I tell you...I get more enjoyment out of the words rather than the information. I mean...who uses the word 'alas' anymore? And yet it gives this newspaper magazine a Shakespearean beauty that maybe only an English teacher can appreciate.

I will admit that there are articles that I read and have absolutely no idea what it's about...I'm just looking for great writing and I've enjoyed every moment of reading today.

I knew it would be a wonderful day of promise when I drove to work and saw the most respendant rainbow...full rainbow...this morning. It was a savory moment. Who could have the doldrums when God's promises are never full of populist piffle...but only truth!

Happy Friday!

So Much...So, So, So Much!

It's been awhile...and I sure haven't kept up with my goal of writing as much as I wanted to. After August hits...my mind moves into another gear. Usually it begins the first of the month fighting depression of having to go back to a routine everyday. I spend one to two days just hanging out at home doing absolutely nothing. Then...one day I just wake up and BAM! I'm ready to start. My mind goes into high-teacher-gear and I begin to prepare lessons and units in my head that I must instantly begin working on. This year that whole process needed to fly quickly by as we began meetings on the 9th and students came on the 13th. All of this to say...I'm back in school and unfortunately my hobbies take a back seat to my job.

In the past three weeks, there has been so, so, so much with which I have been challenged. I began a study on the names of God...and all there is to say is if you truly want to know God and understand who you are in light of who He is, study his names. Elohim--The Creator, El Elyon--The Mighty God, El Roi--The God Who Sees, and Adonai--Lord. I'm not even half way through the study and I've been brought to my knees on more than one occasion!

Secondly, I started reading Amy Carmichael's biography. WOW...WOW...WOW! If you want to meet a woman who was sold out to her Lord...who was Kingdom minded...and who understood sacrifice, read this book. In it she talks about the difference between those who have heard the gospel and those who have not. Between those who pretend to know the gospel, and those who do not. She says, "Missionary work in a place where Christ has never been named is sometimes less arduous than in places where, though named, He has not been honored by lives of holy obedience" (141). Yikes! Did America go through anyone's head as they read that quote?

Carmichael often read and quoted from other missionaries as well. She was living out her call to sacrifice in India and was inspired by M. Coillard when he wrote," Our prayers for the evangelization of the world are but a bitter irony so long as we only give of our superfluity and draw back before the sacrifice of ourselves." OUCH!

Needless to say, I have been convicted and inspired to begin this year with an eye for the eternal. Where does God want me to speak of Him today? Where am I not being obedient at school...because obedience is the greatest display of who God is to others. I have been challenged and rather than fear my failure, God has encouraged me with His mighty power. I have realized that it is not worth striving to know God if I am not prepared to be convicted and make some changes...luckily it is God who gives me that strength and ability.

Blessings as you endeavor to truly know God today!

Princess

This is Princess (I think that's what her name means). Princess was found on a bus...abandonded.



When they found her and brought her to the orphanage, she would have little to do with anyone...especially men.



While we were there it took her a while to warm up to us. On the first day she simply ran and hid from our students. Little by little she began to play with them until finally she would allow them to pick her up and love on her. It's absolutely amazing how God's love through a group of people who do not speak the language can be accepted and enjoyed...even by a four year old.