Moments Just for Me

I know that God exists. More than that...I know that He is a personal God and that He desires to have a relationship with me. This is something that I've been taught since I was a young child and even though it has been a teaching repeated throughout my life, it is a fact that until one experiences for themselves that which they are being taught...that lesson could be doomed to failure. Fortunately, God has allowed me to experience that He is a personal God. What grace and mercy He bestows on us each day that I can freely enter before His throne and speak to Him, plead with Him, praise Him, and confess to Him. Personal? Yes. He hears my prayers and even though He may not answer them the way I would wish...I know, I know, I know that He hears because His word tells me that He does.

Prayer is just one way that I know God is personal. In recent years there have been other ways that He has shown me His desire to have a relationship. One way that has been sweet to my soul is the many moments that he has just for me. If you have experienced these types of moments, you know what I'm talking about. I believe that God gives us special moments and experiences that are reserved just for us alone. Those moments when you are alone and only you get to see the full, resplendent rainbow in a cascading arch over a perfectly green wheat field. Or what about the moment you are driving down the road by yourself on a Kansas winter evening and as you look up at the sky your breath is stolen by the brilliant display of stars radiating a diamond-like glow from a black abyss. You realize at that moment that there is light that shines brightly in darkness. An overwhelming sense of appreciation and gratefulness overtakes you as you fight the tears that escape from your eyes.

A particular one I remember happened one morning on my way to school. It was deer season (one of my personal favorites) and everyone had been talking of a big, prize-winning buck that was wandering the area. Now...I don't love the season for the hunting but for the beauty and regal look of the deer. They are incredibly graceful animals and stunning to behold. On this particular morning I was alone. Not just alone in my car, but there seemed to be an unusual emptiness to the road. About three miles from town I gazed around me and there to my right...hidden amongst dead tree limbs and colorful prairie grass was an absolutely kingly sight. A large buck stood there demanding the kind of deference a king would require. He stood tall, regal, with a shining coat that implied the standard of health. He did not run, he did not jump, he simply stood there watching me as I passed. He was well-trained in knowing true danger and fear was not something he possessed. This may sound silly and over exaggerated but it felt like we actually made eye-contact. He saw me...and he knew I saw him. This was a moment from my God.

I find that these moments are only there if I look for them. Unfortunately, I allow life to steal my mind. I'm running here or finishing that "to do" list. As I'm finishing one task, I'm already thinking about the next one and how to most efficiently use my time. Being alone is often used as simply time to make a new "to do" list without interruption. But on those rare occasions when my mind is still and my heart is soft I find that God often has a gift, a moment just for me. Those are the sweetest moments of my day. Oh that the world would not occupy my mind but God. How much sweeter my days would be.