An Eye for the Eternal

There is a fine line that connects living with eternity in mind…an eye for the eternal…and living faithfully today. So often I get caught up in trying to find out what God wants me to do, where He wants me to go, and to whom He wants me to minister. Often I spend more time contemplating about what’s next rather than living faithfully in the present day that He has made. But how do I live today with eternity in mind? This is something that I’ve been learning and studying as I have been making the transition from teacher to mother and housewife.

When I first started teaching I remember struggling to find the eternal value in teaching Lord of the Flies, essays, grammar, or critical analysis of texts. I found it difficult to ascertain any type of meaning in the hours I spent grading and planning. I prayed about it, I sought council on this, and even at times I resigned myself to never feeling effective for the kingdom. It is interesting as I look back over the nine years, four school districts, and four grade levels that I taught, God was gradually whittling away at what I thought was meaningful and replacing it with a totally new perspective. My years teaching in the north suburbs of Chicago were very fulfilling and challenging…academically and intellectually. It was here that I learned to be the teacher that I became; however, I found myself becoming prideful as my ultimate goal was to be an accomplished and valued teacher. Oddly enough, even in the midst of my fleshly pursuits, I longed to make Jesus known and God provided opportunities to discuss spiritual things in my classroom…and even share the gospel with a colleague. Looking back, I see that I was looking to find the eternal value of my days in the content of what I was teaching rather than being faithful to the day He made and the opportunities He provided.

Throughout the years I continued to struggle with these longings and desires. After four and a half years in Chicago I eventually felt that I had accomplished many things and the curriculum was no longer a challenge for me. It was at this time that I moved to Turkey and began a whole new experience where God chiseled more of my fleshly perspective away. It was there that God helped me to understand that building relationships was important and through trusting Him opportunities would arise to share about the hope that was in me. In Turkey my job had the balance of developing relationships with students and colleagues and the challenge of developing and creating a curriculum for the department. There I was able to share the gospel with an American colleague and discuss many allusions to the Bible with my classes. I struggled to find meaning early in those two years, but by the end I was sure that God had sent me there for a reason. However, I was always looking to the next phase of my journey. I was never fully there and never fully resigned to living each day faithfully.

My return to the states to teach stripped me of much pride and I have come to the conclusion that we often cannot conceive or know why God has us in a particular place. Teaching in Kansas was difficult for me. Academic success and excellence in the classroom was overshadowed by behavioral issues and parental influence. In Kansas City parents had a hard time seeing their children fail and all but demanded that the path to graduation be easy. In Hutchinson parental involvement was minimal, but behavioral problems were customary and the lack of administrative support created an environment that bred apathetic and undisciplined students. In response to both of these situations, teachers took the easy way out and simply succumbed to the inevitable of mediocrity and laziness in the classroom. I attempted with all that was in me to keep my standards high, but as God gradually began to strip my academic and intellectual pride from me, I finally began to see the eternal value is not in the curriculum, it’s not in the way my room is decorated, and it’s not even in the success of my students. The eternal value of teaching is remaining faithful to each opportunity that God brings and being ready to give account of the hope that is in me. Eternal value is found in my attitude when things are visibly wrong. It’s found in my work as long as I work as unto the Lord. Eternal value is found when I walk away from or stand against slanderous conversations. It’s found when my first response to a problem is prayer rather than gossip. It’s found in the display of the fruits of the spirit. Eternal value is praying for each student as I spend hours grading their papers. Eternal value is found in being faithful each day that He gives…one day at a time…one opportunity at a time.

So…I have found myself asking the same question during this transition from teacher to mom. Where is the value in diapers, in meals, in cleaning, in laundry, in playtime? In this transition I must continually be reminded that the value will not be found in those chores or activities themselves…rather in the opportunities to pray and to show Christ in my life. What is my attitude? What are my words and thoughts? How often do I pray? Have I hidden God’s word in my heart? I have found that there are so many more moments in my day than I think that can be used for God’s moments. It’s a discipline and an active dying to my agenda. In changing Culley’s diapers do I speak of Christ or complain? In making meals do I meditate on Christ or worry about other things? In doing laundry do I take those moments to pray or mindlessly complete a mundane task? I’ve been challenged in a whole new way these past three months and I know that there are many more challenges coming. Yes…life is different and some days are crazy and full of emotions I never knew I had. But there are still moments in each day that God wants us to claim and use for His glory. There are still moments in each day that can glorify God simply by being faithful to Him. I long to desire Him above all else. I long to have an eye for the eternal. I long to be found faithful today. My prayer is that God would give me an eye for the eternal in the mundane moments and find me faithful to the day that He has made and rejoicing in it.