No Small Task

You want to talk about conviction? Let's talk church on Sunday.

In all honesty, I must confess...I have not treated this school and this particular job as a chance to impact Christ's kingdom. I've been plugging along, longing for May 23rd just to be finished and say "Adios students!" It's been a year filled with the mentality of survival...not a mentality of fruitfulness. So...as the year comes to an end in about 4 weeks, my God chose last Sunday to knock me upside the head and say, "get over it...enough."

The scripture was Mark 8:34-38...especially 36, "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" This is a well-known passage. One that is quoted, read, quoted, read, and re-quoted because it's read so much. If we've grown up in the church I'm sure we've heard Jim Elliot's famous quote, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." This is the type of passage, the type of thinking that is applauded and encouraged in others. I love to read stories of those who have been selfless and given over their life to the advancement of the gospel. BUT...very rarely have I stopped long enough to look in the mirror...very seldom have I stopped to take time to digest.

The basic message...the bottom line is this: am I living for worldly pleasures? Do I store up treasures on earth? Is my curriculum more important than the faces sitting in front of me? Is owning a house more important than resting where God has me right now? Is my education or degree more important than seeing knowledge through the eyes of God? AND...are my needs more important than my husband's? Not that these things are bad...but what is my focus? What is my motive. I believe that this morning, as I was revisiting my notes from Sunday, if you had been watching my face you would have seen my smile diminish at the same rate that my eyes grew in realization that it is so incredibly easy to simply live life. It is so easy to simply live...without regard for living with value. My soul is the only thing that goes with me from this world to the next. What am I doing to improve my soul...to gain it? How tightly do I hold to earthly things?

I will probably never have this concept conquered. In fact I know that until Christ returns I will struggle to live life with value...and to store up my treasures in heaven. BUT...I pray that the things in my life that are vanity would decrease as my motives change. I am grateful for a God who does not leave me where I am...or in the same mindset that I am comfortable in. He has challenged me...no, commanded me to live a life with value and eternity in sight. A paradigm shift...no small task.